ok so i dont want this to take forever - but it probably will

biggest news of them all? PEACE OUT CARLOW DORMS! woot woot. our appeal letters did some damage and we got letters in our mailboxes saying that we got permission to move out! that day was probably the happiest day of my life thus far! monroeville here i come.  i can't wait to quit kuhns - im so sick of it.

speaking of kuhns - i saw john this past weekend and he didn't say a word to me on friday night  but since i worked late on friday and early on saturday who was the first person i see when i walk in on saturday morning? yeah. john. i didn't say anything but he clocked out as i was waiting to get my drawer, so he tapped me on my back and was like "hey wassupp" so i said "hi"  i haven't decided on whether or not to just give in and be civil with him...he's really given me no reason to let him have that pleasure... two weekends ago when i saw him and he asked me for a hug and asked me to be my friend, i told him that i want to - only bc thats the kind of person that i am - but he's given me no reason to let it happen.  and he said "ok, no hard feeling." LIKE WTF. if he honestly wanted to be my friend and it meant THAT much to him, he would have fought with me about it.  why would he miss me? why does he care. im moving to monroeville isn't it just pointless to try to restart a friendship from a friendship/summerfling gone wrong - esp when ill be 25 mins away and neither of us drive? im pretty sure im better off w/o him -  it just sucks that everytime i see him that tinsy winsy piece of my heart that knows he'll give me all the attention i want SCREAMS at me. oh well - i've done really really good. i'm very proud of myself bc its so easy to give into someone that makes your world disappear and your knees go weak everytime he kisses you.  but i can't focus on that...the rest of my heart knows that he made me feel like shit 75% of the time i talked to him - 25% happiness isn't worth it.

My parents and i are getting along real well lately - im really happy that they have finally half come to terms with the fact that im moving out... my mom said she got really depressed the other day bc she was thinking how this would be the first christmas i didn't wake up at home and i was like "FORGET THAT! im sleepinng at home!" haha. i think it surprised her.  shan and i are uber excited about this apartment...life is finally going as planned - (knock on wood) - all i need is a guy - but im pretty happy w/ being single for now!

haha this is longer than i wanted it to be, but karen yelled at me bc i needed to update - so this is for you karen! gotta go clean talk to you all later!